10 healthy ways to cope with grief after bereavement and loss | grief support and counselling

Grief is the emotional, psychological, and physical response we experience after a significant loss. Most often this follows the death of a loved one, but it can also occur after other major life changes such as relationship breakdown, job loss, or the death of a pet.

Grief can bring a wide range of emotions including sadness, anger, guilt, shock, numbness, and disbelief. All of these responses are normal.

Many people worry they are “not coping properly” or that they should feel differently by a certain point. In reality, grief is a highly individual process with no fixed timeline.

Below are 10 healthy ways to cope with grief after bereavement and loss.

1. Be patient with yourself

Grief has no fixed timeline. You do not “move on” from someone you have loved deeply, but instead learn to live alongside the loss.

Many people are surprised by how long grief takes. It is common to wonder, “Shouldn’t I be over this by now?” But grief is shaped by the depth of the relationship, and it takes time to adjust.

Grief can also show physically, through fatigue, sleep changes, tension in the body, or changes in appetite. These are normal responses as your mind and body process loss.

2. Ask for help and support

Grief can reduce your capacity to manage everyday life. You may feel tired, distracted, or emotionally overwhelmed.

Try to accept help when it is offered. This might include meals, childcare, lifts, or practical support. Receiving help is not a burden on others—it is appropriate support during a difficult time.

3. Connect with people who understand

Support groups or bereavement spaces can be incredibly helpful. Being with others who have experienced similar loss can reduce isolation and help you feel understood.

St Luke’s Compassionate Cafés in Plymouth offer a welcoming space for anyone affected by bereavement or life-limiting illness. They provide an opportunity to talk, share memories, or simply sit quietly with others who understand.

There is no pressure to speak or “be okay”. You are welcome whether your loss is recent or long ago.

4. Allow yourself to cry

Crying is a natural emotional release. It is not a sign of weakness, but part of how the body processes grief.

Grief is not something that disappears by staying busy or pushing feelings away. Allowing emotions to surface, when they come, can be an important part of healing.

5. Don’t overdo it

Grief is exhausting. Alongside emotional pain, it can affect your physical energy and concentration.

Try to reduce pressure where possible. Rest more, delegate tasks, and allow yourself space to recover.

6. Avoid making major decisions

Where possible, avoid significant life decisions during early grief, such as moving house, changing jobs, or starting a new relationship.

Grief affects clarity and emotional stability, so allowing time before making big changes can help prevent regret later on.

7. Practice gentle self-care

Self-care does not need to be complicated. It might include resting, eating regularly, taking a bath, going for a short walk, or reading something comforting.

Small, simple actions can help support your emotional and physical wellbeing during this time.

8. Take things slowly

It is very common to feel less focused or forgetful during grief. Everyday tasks may take more energy than usual.

This is a normal response to emotional stress. You may also be adjusting to life without someone who played a significant role in your identity and routine.

Try to lower expectations and focus on getting through each day rather than “getting back to normal”.

9. Memorialise your loved one

When you feel ready, some people find comfort in remembering their loved one in active ways. This might include looking at photographs, writing letters, creating scrapbooks, or making a memory box.

For some people this is comforting; for others it may feel too painful at first. Both responses are completely valid. There is no right or wrong way to remember.

10. Consider grief counselling

Grief counselling offers a safe, supportive space to explore your feelings with someone trained to listen without judgement.

Support may be available through hospices, charities, employee assistance programmes, insurance, or private practice.

Talking through your grief can help you feel less alone and reduce the risk of becoming stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions.

Final thoughts

Grief is not something to “get over” quickly. It is a process of adjustment, integration, and learning to live with loss in a new way.

There is no right timeline and no correct way to grieve – only what feels human and manageable for you.

If you would like support, I work with people experiencing bereavement and other forms of loss, offering a calm and compassionate space to talk.